This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
so apparently an arm can sell on the black market for $885, ($500 for the shoulder plus $385 for the hand an forearm)
and a leg can sell for $500 (at least thats the lowest price of an albino leg so im guessing here)
So when someone says “That’ll cost an arm ad a leg” they are roughly asking for $1,335
which is less than i would have guessed.
i didn’t spend this much time researching the cost of limbs on the black market for one note
why didn’t harry use the chamber of secrets when teaching dumbledore army? i mean, only HE could open the door?
because the giant basilisk skeleton might have been a distraction
if anything it sets the mood
yo but this says so much about rape when a woman would literally rather be around a murderer than a rapist
NEW Sailor Moon Ochatomo Series Figures by MegaHouse: http://www.sailormooncollectibles.com/2014/08/20/new-sailor-moon-ochatomo-series-figures-megahouse/
"your bra strap is showing"
"you look shitty today"
"you’re gonna be fat if you keep eating like that"
god bless fall out boy.
*oitnb theme song plays* *runs 3 miles* *takes 2 hour nap* *goes out to dinner* *comes back and takes a shower* *episode starts*
you’ve got time
clap your hands if you’re bisexual, asexual, or any other sexual and get erased by both the heterosexual and homosexual community
You either love The Princess Bride or you haven’t seen it
one time like wayy before I was born it was christmas and my grandma looked in her backyard where her pear tree was. She noticed a partridge had landed in it. A literal partridge landed in her pear tree. On christmas she had a partridge in her pear tree. So she did the logical thing and shot it and ate it merry christmas everyone
she dun put a cartridge in that partridge